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AMAZON PRIME'S "HOUSE OF SPOILS" IS DELICIOUSLY HAUNTED HAUTE CUISINE

Written and directed by Bridget Savage Cole and Danielle Krudy, House of Spoils is the story of a chef (arguably Ariana DeBose’s best performance since her Oscar win) who's been working in a prestigious restaurant for seven years under the tutelage of an esteemed talent named Marcello (Marton Csokas, doing a lot with not very much). He finds her so gifted that he offers to double her salary when she suddenly informs him that she’s quitting to start her own restaurant in the middle of nowhere, determined to make it on her own. With a testy investor named Andres (Arian Moayed), Chef plans to open a ‘Destination Restaurant’—somewhere people would be willing to drive hours just to experience. That is until she discovers they’re doing so at what’s basically a remote haunted house.


This should go well.

*MILD SPOILERS FOR "HOUSE OF SPOILS" FROM THIS POINT

Even Your Hot Dishes Are Cold.

Amazon Prime’s latest original comes from horror royalty Blumhouse and arrives just in time for Spooky Season. Though, it's opening aims to and succeeds at setting it apart from your typical Blumhouse offering.


We start right in the fire: a restaurant's kitchen. It's a pristine af mise en place of mechanized movements and an owner who seems to have one job—to spit the vitriol we've come to expect from people in his position, a la Carmy of FX's The Bear or roastmaster Gordon Ramsay of Hell's Kitchen.


In the throws of this dance of delectables is Ms. DeBose, who plays a character only ever referred to as "Chef." Chef is clearly a pro, precise in her movements, using Marcello's words as motivation to do better, be better, and produce a meal that we have to assume is pretty damn extraordinary.


But our Chef is destined for more. She wants to start her own restaurant in some idyllic upstate locale equipped with nothing more than her wits and a terror-tinged sense of independence. Still, she persists, arriving at a house that appears to be in the midst of being reclaimed by the earth. And beautiful as it may be, the house needs a serious makeover. So chef gets to work preparing for this new kind of restaurant experience, battling a hot mess of a kitchen, a dubious investor, and lots and lots self doubt.

Despite Chef being constantly confronted by obstacle after obstacle—a massive infestation, a rabbit pillaging the fresh veggies, a sous chef with a completely false resume, and an incompetent helper who brings her Pillsbury biscuits and a Cornish hen from the local Acme instead of the high end fresh fish and produce she sent him out for—she seems to get the place up and running in no time. Seemingly. As Tim Gunn would say "Make it work", and make it work she does, turning bargain bin ingredients into a Michelin worthy meal, a credit to the character's quick thinking and kitchen prowess.


Unfortunately it's not enough. And she nearly loses both her investor and restaurant altogether (and almost kills a diner with a shellfish allergy. Accidentally.) until she stumbles across something deep in the bowls of the estate that could fix everything. But is Chef willing to use it?


Our chef finds a garden (and a smidge of hope) deep in the estate that opens up her palette and menu, allowing her and her sous Lucia (Barbie Ferreira) to develop a menu of unimaginable textures and flavors—easily the film at it's best. The pressure, however, begins to heat up when the spirit of the estate's previous owner threatens to sabotage her and her restaurant at every opportunity as House of Spoils begins its edge toward the supernatural.

Please Don’t Say "Mouth Feel".

Over and above its horror trappings, food takes center stage in House of Spoils. Chef's secret garden is filled with vibrant vegetation of unknown origin, distinguishable for their strange effect on Chef's palate and mental state as literal spoils, both real and imagined, flicker in and out of Chef's view. But for every gross out food moment—and there are many—there's delectable, down-to-earth stylings (from food stylist Zoe Hegedus) that whet the appetite. There's something innately magical about the act of cooking, a connection that House of Spoils is eager to highlight. And Cole & Krudy’s latest works best when fixated on the minutiae of Chef’s work and her ongoing, shifting, developing menu.


Don't worry, you don’t need to be deeply entangled in the restaurant and food world to have a good time watching this ghostly take on cooking culture. But man, if you are, you'll delight in every detail—whether you engage in fine dining as a diner or as a restaurateur. Or if you just unironically think about “mouthfeel”.

Also, Ariana DeBose gives it her all here as Chef. Though some may criticize her for overselling it, it's exactly what her role demands and DeBose commits every step of the way. There's an especially helpless, claustrophobic scene—our Chef at her lowest—that hit me in alll the feels.


Please, Sit. It’s All Part of the Menu.

In some ways, House of Spoils is also much more perceptive than a film of this kind needs to be. Where a supernatural horror of culinary revenge would suffice, the prerogative is to reach some more crucial truths and reclaim the associated symbols of the earth and the "feminine."


By the end, the film has some really interesting things to say about history and culture and how too often the misunderstanding of a culture can lead to unnecessary tragedy. Maybe the monsters aren't always who you think. And maybe not every herbal and medicinal craft practitioner—who've historically been given the decidedly short end of the stick—is a witchy witch. And the journey of the unraveling of this revelation goes to show just how incredibly effective DeBose is as Chef.

The final result is very much a slow burn. And that certainly won't be for everyone. But for me, it's refreshing to see its story and characters develop and breathe without having to instantly rush into the scares.


Creating a great setting with an eerie atmosphere and plenty of spooky vibes, the film offers a unique mix of culinary drama and horror with all the intense kitchen action and delicious looking food one could ever hope for in a post The Bear world. If you're a hardcore horror junkie looking for hardcore scares, the final narrative bow probably won't satisfy. But if you're looking for something darkly atmospheric and a little gothic, with delicious thrills and light on the chills, House of Spoils is a complete meal, albeit smaller bites.

4/5 ★: A light bite for a horror snacker.

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